After decades of standing in the supermarket line, being forced to read the
covers of those cheesy women's magazines, I had to finally do something about
it. So last week, I sent this prank e-mail into the editors of Marie
Claire:

Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2003 11:33:22 -0700
(PDT)
Subject: Your recent issue
To: marieclaire@hearst.com

Dear
Marie Claire:

I was very disappointed by your recent issue. On the cover,
you advertised "SEX & MEN SURVEY: 6,000 Men Confess Everything You Always
Wanted To Know." However, you failed to reveal several important things that
I've always wanted to know:

- Why do so many men like it when you step on
their scrotums with high heels?
- What do you do if your slave can't say his
or her "safe word" because there's a spiked leather ball stuffed into his mouth?
- What is the best brand of double-dong dildo?

Unless you can
answer these questions, I am switching to Cosmopolitan.

Jane Hargrave

Shockingly, I never received a response.

The
consolation prize, however, is that while looking for the answer to my question on the Marie Claire website, I found their sex message board,
which is both hot and hilarious at the same time. For instance, check out this conversation about one reader who masturbates with a stuffed animal. Or this
one about a woman discovering that her boyfriend watches porn. Or my favorite, about a soccer mom's experience with anal sex.

From the looks of it, 6,000 men don't need to confess everything you always wanted to know. The readers of Marie Claire already know it all, the dirty sluts.

Budget planning with a spreadsheet (Monday)
How much money do you earn? How much money do you spend? Have you ever planned your "budget" by using a computer?

The name for the plan that "keeps track of" or "keeps a record of" the money you earn and spend is called a budget.

Budgets can be put on a spreadsheet. A spreadsheet is a computer program, used especially in business, which allows you to do financial calculations and plans. This means that you keep track of your personal budget, the money you earn and spend, on your computer. The computer will do the math necessary to help you plan how you spend your money!

Dude! Look What I Caught in My, Uh, Uh, Net...
Fri Jun 13,11:08 AM ET Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!



PARIS (Reuters) - A French fisherman netted a surprise catch this week -- 66 pounds of cannabis.



The man was fishing on the river Yvette, on the southern edge of Paris, when he spotted something strange in the water, French media reported Friday.
Taking a closer look, he discovered 28 bags, each containing a little over a kilogram of cannabis resin and immediately alerted the police.
"Perhaps it was the usual hiding place for a drug trafficker," a local policeman was quoted as saying in the Liberation daily.
"With the heat, the (water) level had fallen. There was only about 50 cm of water," he said. "It's very rare that people bring in this sort of commodity in such quantities."